Title: Velveteen vs. Temptation.
Summary: What happens to a child superhero who finds that after everything she has done, everything she has endured...life goes on?

( The person on the other end of the phone kept talking...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Recovery.
Summary: What happens to a child superhero who finds that after everything she has done, everything she has endured...life goes on?

( As a rule, life at the Crystal Glitter Unicorn Cloud Castle followed a fairly strict set of guidelines...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen Presents Jacqueline Claus vs. The Lost and the Found.
Summary: And now for something completely different! Santa’s daughter must find her place in the world...whether she wants to or not. This is the end of volume three, and brings us to the next stage of Velveteen's adventures.

( Jacqueline Claus, adopted daughter of Santa Claus, one day to inherit his place as toymaker and guardian of the dreams of children...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. The Retroactive Continuity.
Summary: What happens when a former child superhero returns from her travels in the seasonal lands, only to discover that things have changed, possibly forever? Velveteen is home. Home is not the same.

( The four women were locked in an uneasy standoff, none of them willing to be the first to move and hence kick off the fight...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Everything You Ever Wanted.
Summary: What happens when a former child superhero returns from her travels in the seasonal lands, only to discover that things have changed, possibly forever? Velveteen is home. Home is not the same.

( The mirrors stretched out to infinity around them, recognizable as mirrors only while they were at a distance...Collapse )

It is done: I am in Seattle. I have a place to live. It is a nice place to live. I have housemates. They are nice housemates. I have my cats. They are no longer quite as angry at me.

All is as well as can be at this stage in the wild party game that is moving.

Since some people have asked, I've made an Amazon Wishlist of things we need for the house (which, because I am clever, I added right onto the list of things that I just sort of idly wanted, so there are random CDs and the like toward the end). Here is the link, for the curious:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/X8ZE9W21BP1G/ref=topnav_lists_1

There will be pictures soon. Also sleep.

So much sleeping.

Title: Velveteen vs. Going Home Again.
Summary: What happens when a former child superhero returns from her travels in the seasonal lands, only to discover that things have changed, possibly forever? Velveteen is home. Home is not the same.

( The Princess sat on her (increasingly tarnished) throne, hands gripping the armrests so tight that it felt like she was going to break a nail...Collapse )

It's the sixth roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is now closed.

"My Sister" for druidspell. (Pantoum)
"Come Dancing" for wyld_dandelion. (Rhyming verse)
"Castleview" for angel_vixen. (Triolet)
"Your Voice" for muddlewait. (Triolet)
"A Human Heart" for myuki_chan. (Triolet)
"Plain Desires" for geojlc. (Rhyming verse)
"Wedding Plea" for azurelunatic. (Blank verse)
"Time" for tibicina. (Blank verse)
"Gardener" for jocoustic. (Blank verse)
"Monster's Bedtime Pledge" for ravan. (Rhyming verse)
"Holy" for beeker121. (Rhyming verse)
"Trains on the Moon" for kay_gmd. (Rhyming verse)
"Rest" for tigertoy. (Simple rhyme)
"Evening Song" for songcoyote. (Asymmetric sonnet)

More to come.

It's the fifth roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is now closed.

"For You" for betedanslecoeur. (Rhyming verse)
"Phantom Rose" for kidogirl. (Song form)
"Dreaming Australia" for rose_clover. (Free verse)
"Offerings" for beable. (Free verse)
"If You Let Me" for hsifyppah. (Song form)
"Bleeding" for deire. (Free verse)
"The Restless Dead" for patoadam. (Rondeau)
"Fairy Tale" for archangelbeth. (Rhyming verse)
"All Else Fades" for jadis17. (Blank sonnet)
"Every Cat" for redbird. (Free verse)
"What She Asked For" for shiyiya. (Rhyming verse)
"This Is How" for allisona. (Free verse)

More to come.

Title: Velveteen vs. The Consequences of Her Actions.
Summary: What happens when a former child superhero returns from her travels in the seasonal lands, only to discover that things have changed, possibly forever? Velveteen is home. Home is not the same.

( The transition between the real world and the Crystal Glitter Unicorn Cloud Castle was usually smooth and easy...Collapse )

It's the fourth roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is now closed.

"Mermaid Heart" for flexor. (Modified grabbelton)
"When the Harvest's Done" for debmats. (Free verse)
"Parsonage" for sdelmonte. (Sonnet)
"All Who Speak" for resolute. (Free verse)
"Ownership" for gaaneden. (Free verse)
"Dragons" for k_crow. (Rhyming verse)
"Growing" for emsy. (Sonnet)
"Firefly" for coyotegoth. (Song form)
"Authorial Intent" for sibylle. (Petrarchan sonnet)
"Nothing More" for oneminutemonkey. (Free verse)
"Bride of Broken Bones" for kitanzi. (Rhyming verse)
"Coda" for vincentursus. (Free verse)

More to come.

Title: Velveteen Presents Action Dude vs. Doing the Right Thing.
Summary: And now for something completely different. Velveteen is gone, and Action Dude has found himself in situations his training never prepared him for.

( Action Dude--who hadn't been able to stop thinking of himself that way in months; it felt like Aaron Frank had become a luxury...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Trick or Treat.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

( Time didn't pass in the Seasonal Lands the way it did in the Calendar Country....Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. A Disturbing Number of Crows.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Today's story was brought to you by nolly. Happy birthday nolly!

( Once again, Velveteen woke to find herself staring at the rotting rafters of a decaying house...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. The Melancholy of Autumn.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Today's story was sponsored by phantomdancer! Happy birthday!

( Velveteen opened her eyes to find herself staring up into the rafters of a house that should probably have been condemned five minutes after it was built...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen Presents Polychrome vs. The Court of Public Opinion and Not Punching Anyone.
Summary: And now for something completely different. Velveteen is gone, and Polychrome is still putting her life back together, one heroic escapade at a time.

( Someone on the ground below might have mistaken them for screams, but Polychrome was close enough to see the sheer glee...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Spring Cleaning.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Today's installment is brought to you by Lost Violet, wishing a slightly belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Scotchy! (The belatedness is entirely on me. She's awesome.)

( Velveteen walked through the green world and the green world moved through Velveteen...Collapse )

Today belongs to Josh. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOSH!

Josh has been to basically every book event I've ever been involved with at Borderlands Books. His parents started bringing him when he was still a potato in a baby sling and earmuffs, and now he's grown into this awesome micro-human who runs around and is enthusiastically part of everything that's going on around him. It's so super-great. Josh is best.

Sometimes it scares me that I've been doing the "author" thing for long enough to have had a baby turn into a whatever-comes-after-toddler (kid? IDK) while I watched, but other times, I remember how amazing it all is.

Happy birthday, kiddo.

I hope we celebrate many more together.

Title: Velveteen vs. Balance.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Today's story was sponsored by Rob and Larissa. Thanks, Rob and Larissa!

( Though she had only been in Spring for a short time, it had already been long enough for Velveteen to learn two simple truths...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. The Thaw.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Today's story was sponsored by Rob and Larissa. Thanks, Rob and Larissa!

( Cradled in a bed of moss and new spring leaves, draped in a blanket of flower petals and thistledown, Velveteen slept...Collapse )

I cry indulgence, for I was on a plane: this sponsorship is actually for November 16th, and was purchased by the lovely and endearing Lost Violet, whose praises we sing.

Lost Violet is smart, funny, savvy, quick to adapt and to engage, and in all ways makes the world better. I am proud to call her my friend. If she is your friend, you should be too. If not, I hope you have a friend just like her.

She makes life good.

Title: Velveteen Presents The Princess vs. Public Relations.
Summary: And now for something completely different. Velveteen is gone, and the Princess still has a job to do. No matter how much she doesn’t want to do it. Today's story is brought to you by Rob and Larissa. Thanks, Rob and Larissa!

( he Princess scowled at her reflection. Her reflection scowled back. The brightly colored birds that were in the process of arranging her hair in a complicated chignon...Collapse )

We walked through the mud to the sound of the cows,
Their thundering footsteps, their wondering loughs,
Under the roof of the rain as it fell
As we slipped into ballad to find Tam Lin's well.

With fairy fruit sweetness still coating our lips,
The roses and elderflower swallowed in sips,
We entered the green, with its bitter-bright smell,
As we slipped into ballad to find Tam Lin's well.

And the blackberry briars were a veil to be worn,
Though they rendered our fingers all tattered and torn.
We followed the road as it cut through the dell
As we slipped into ballad to find Tam Lin's well.

We sang to the sky and we sang to the stone,
As we stood on a bridge never seen, so long known,
And the count of the crows was a tale we can't tell
As we slipped into ballad to find Tam Lin's well.

The bridge bore us back to the right and road,
Where we walked well aware of the debt that we owed,
And the world was an egg, with the sky for a shell,
As we slipped into ballad to find Tam Lin's well.

We were seeking a stanza, a chorus, a phrase
In the song that had shaped us for years and for days...
And what we found's a treasure we never could sell.
We have walked out of ballad. We saw Tam Lin's well.

Title: Velveteen vs. Global Warming.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands... Today's adventure is brought to you by Rob and Larissa! Thanks, Rob and Larissa!

( Time ran differently in the Winter...Collapse )

It's the third roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is now closed.

"Ace of Shadows" for kassrachel. (Sestina)
"Owl, Fox, Cat" for ladymondegreen. (Rhyming verse)
"Enough" for janetmiles. (Free verse)
"Picnic" for herefox. (Rhyming verse)
"Penguin" for mneme. (Free verse)
"The Fox" for roadnotes. (Triolets)
"Geek Love" for notalwaysweak. (Sonnet)
"Goodnight" for sabine791110. (Rhyming verse)
"Right the Train" for groblek. (Train song)

More to come.

Title: Velveteen vs. Santa Claus.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to agree to serve the seasonal lands...

Sponsored by linenoise. It's a few days late, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

( The sky over Santa's Village was clear, affording the citizens a beautiful view of the Northern Lights, which painted the air in a hundred shimmering shades of orange, green, pink, and pearlescent blue...Collapse )

I had a book come out yesterday, which is no longer the all-consuming event that it used to be, but still results in the next day suffering from a huge case of the blahs. I do not want to do anything. I want to sprawl in my bed and pet the cats and not actually do anything that requires thought.

Naturally, this means I'm working. Whee, discipline.

That's sort of a sincere whee, though. Whee, discipline. Whee, reaching a point where I understand that even if I only do the bare minimum required for "you have met goals today," doing it every day will allow me to do things like go to Disneyland with Vixy and not be stressed and sad about not writing while I'm there. I feel like, by forcing myself to be more disciplined and firm, I have created the opportunity to be more loose and free. It's sort of neat. Maybe this is what professionalism feels like.

The current round of Iron Poet is going really well; the cats are healthy; my foot is continuing to get better, to the point that I'm considering walking to the grocery store later today, just to prove that I can.

Maybe after a nap.

Definitely after a nap.

Nap now.

It's the second roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is OPEN, but will not remain so for very much longer, so if you wanted to drop a word group, please feel free to do so. (Following the rules on the post, naturally.)

The poems:

"She Was Good" for browngirl. Simple rhyming verse.
"The Bells of St. Wendy's for vixyish. Nursery rhyme.
"The Path" for apocalypticbob.
"The Men of the North for katyhh. Rhyming quintets.
"If We'll Ever Know" for djbp. Chaucerian roundel.

More to come!

So either LJ just made a change to the antique profile I use for this journal, or I somehow managed to click a button I'd never seen before. Either way, I got dropped into this journal's inbox for the first time.

Literally. For the first time. And apparently, people have been messaging me there for quite a while. I sort of stared and then backed away slowly, because holy crap, that is a lot of messages. And now that I'm updating, I don't know how to get back there. So...

If you need to reach me for something, please email me. If you're following this LJ, there's a 50/50 chance you're someone I actually know; you probably have an email address for me. If you don't, that's what the contact form on my website is for. I don't read messages in other forums, except for Tumblr, where they're sort of unavoidable. I'm not going to go through years and years of messages that I didn't know were coming in. That way lies madness.

If you're not one of the people I actually know, and you've wandered over here because you figured out who I am, welcome. I mean, this isn't a private journal, it's just a journal that I beg people not to link, since I really, really don't want to have to lock down more than fifteen years' worth of fanfic and random geekiness. (And yes, I would have to do that if this got spread around too much. There's a lot of shit here.) As you've probably figured out by now, I don't update much. This is because I am exhausted, and busy, and exhausted. If you feel that my now-main journal is too much of a commercial, that's cool, but you're going to hear about virtually nothing hanging out here, except for occasional complaints about the current TV schedule. Please don't send me queries asking about when things are coming out or whatnot; all that happens on the main journal for a reason.

If you're a spambot, I wish you well.

Here ends the post.

Today's blog entry was brought to you by the lovely and charming Lost Violet, the last time (so many moons ago) that I needed to fundraise through sponsorships. I know, right? I haven't forgotten the remaining dates, I'm just...slow, sometimes. Things happen. I am trying to get on top of them, though.

But enough about me. Let's discuss Lost Violet.

This is a woman who loves Disney as much as I do, hearing the siren song of the Mouse even as she's leaving the Park to head for home. She is charming, witty, sweet, and a devoted friend to the people that she loves. My life is enriched beyond naming for having her in it; she makes things better just by being around.

Lost Violet is one of the most generous, useful, practical people I know, and I am enormously grateful to know her.

This is your day, Lost Violet!

Happy day!

It's the first roundup for the current round of Iron Poet! This round is OPEN, but will not remain so for very much longer, so if you wanted to drop a word group, please feel free to do so. (Following the rules on the post, naturally.)

The poems:

"Pumpkin Heart" for sheistheweather. Shakespearean sonnet.
"Liars" for kyleri. Free verse.
"Comforts Three" for rinioth. Rhyming verse.
"Confusion" for autographedcat. Free verse.
"Towers" for arianhwyvar. Looped atonal sonnet.

More to come!

Welcome to the latest round of Iron Poet, the game where you give me three words and I give you a poem. This is an adaptation of a standard writer's workshop activity, and I do not claim the original concept. I just claim to enjoy doing it.

The rules:

1. You must give me three words. This part isn't optional. Please note that this isn't a game of "stump Seanan"; I'd be happier if you selected words you actually wanted to see in a poem, rather than trying to be arbitrarily difficult. Groups of two or more words, like "purple sock" or "left turn" still count as two or more words. I reserve the right to reject word sets which violate this rule.

2. When submitting proper names ("Bob") or words in languages other than English, you must supply an alternate word.

3. You can choose to give me a poetic style, assuming your words were not sadistic. Naturally trochiac words when you're asking for a sonnet, for example, may get you swatted. I am the final judge of what is or is not a sadistic word.

4. I will not write acrostics, limericks, haiku, poems which depend on a visual layout or any style which by definition must be more than a hundred lines in length. I reserve the right to reject styles which do not have names or require more than ten words to explain.

5. Because the selected words are random from my perspective, you cannot request a mood as your poetic form. You can indicate a preference, which I will try to fill, but I make no guarantees.

6. "Sonnet" is an acceptable form. "In the exact style of this obscure Tori Amos song" is not. I am not playing Iron Filker here. Also, "song form" is not a style, and neither is "singable." You can request rhyming; you cannot specifically request I write you a song.

7. Please put all word groups in original comments, not as replies to someone else's comment. Things tend to thread, and I may miss you if you add your words to someone else's. All words must be posted on this entry. Words posted to other entries will be rejected.

8. Please do not submit more than one group of words at a time. If the round is still open after I do your first word group, you can submit a second, and so on, but please wait for me to get there first. This allows more people to participate.

9. I am the final arbiter of when the round closes. If your words are submitted after the round has closed and I say "no," you don't actually get a vote.

Keep in mind that I am currently writing several novels and dealing with major medical issues. I will be slow; I'm doing this because I stay calmer when I have a round open. I will complete all word groups, although it will take me a while—round ten lasted from May 2006 through to of October 2007, so take that as you will. Posts will go up periodically with links to the completed poems, so that you don't miss yours if it happens to scroll off the screen.

Please also keep in mind that I do this for fun. Word groups that seem specifically designed to make me unhappy, such as groups of swear words or references to bodily functions, only increase the odds of my not continuing these rounds. Thank you.

Let the games begin!

ETA: This round is now CLOSED to new word groups.

I love me some SyFy Originals. Be they movies or television shows, the giddy lack of logic, ridiculous plots, flagrant violations of the Square Cube Law, and craptacular CGI just make me feel at home. So when SyFy announced that their next show would be about genetically engineered viruses, I was so there. It's like someone decided to bake me a delicious cake, and then when you cut the cake, instead of strawberry jam, it's full of Ebola monkeys and screaming.

Mmmmmm, cake.

I'm a pretty uncritical television viewer. I expect you to a) set your rules and stick to them, since you're the arbiter of reality, b) have a reasonably diverse and interesting cast of people, not stock character stereotypes that I've seen a thousand times, and c) amuse me. I thought I could go into Helix with these perspectives in mind and live a long and fruitful television life.

Turns out I was wrong. Who knew, right?

( And then Seanan got her rant on.Collapse )

Today I...

...realized that missing a few days due to DISNEYLAND did not mean I was not allowed to continue.
...made wordcount on one project.
...got halfway through wordcount on another before needing a break (I'll finish next).
...answered a bunch of email.
...agreed to write an introduction for a friend.
...took a bunch of deep breaths.
...ate a halfway healthy lunch.
...gave Meg her Malificent Mouse Ears, which she loves.
...bought plane tickets.
...priced more plane tickets.
...hugged some people.

I am doing mostly okay.

Today I...

...did not get out of bed at 7am.
...picked up my mobility scooter.
...went to Disneyland.
...rode the Jungle Cruise.
...twice.
...bought pins but not too many pins.
...made faces with pixies.
...rode the Haunted Mansion.
...rode It's A Small World.
...showed Tarzan to Vixy.
...hung out with our friend Doc.
...arranged ice cream for my birthday.
...noped right the fuck out of the path of a parade.

And now I am safe and warm in my hotel room, and going to bed.

Today, I...

...got out of bed.
...put on clothes.
...watched an episode of Haven that's been sitting on the DVR like, forever.
...remembered my Disneyland Annual Pass before getting to the airport.
...bought chocolates for people who needed chocolates.
...including the flight crew on our plane.
...encountered a wild Vixy and did not stuff her in a Pokeball.
...used DISNEY O'CLOCK on the wild Vixy. It was super effective.
...flew to Anaheim!
...gave Vixy presents.
...received pins.
...checked into our hotel.
...arranged hotel for Loncon.
...unpacked.
...wrote 1,000 words of "Oh Pretty Bird," and navigated a continuity snarl in the process.

Now I sleep. Tomorrow, I Disneyland.

Today, I...

...got out of bed.
...put on clothes.
...did laundry.
...left the house to buy cat food and litter and ice cream and noodles.
...wrote 4,000 words of Still Catch the Tide, which is going really well so far, even if it's really rough at the same time.
...wrote 2,000 words of "The Day the Dead Came to Show and Tell."
...petted the cats.
...turned in a book.
...talked to my agent.
...talked to my Vixy.
...packed my suitcase to head for Disneyland tomorrow.
...accomplished everything on my to do list.

This was a good day. I call it accomplished.

...this year for Yuletide, I wrote a sort of follow-up. "Trick RSVP Treat" is the story of Luke and Marnie's wedding, and while it's not strictly a sequel, it could definitely be set in the same universe.

Check it out here:

http://archiveofourown.org/collections/yuletide2013/works/1071861

I'm actually really proud of this one. Luke and Marnie are one of my all time OTPs, so getting to play with them again was a real treat for me. And it made my recipient happy, which is always a bonus.

Hooray for Yuletide!

Title: Velveteen vs. Hypothermia.
Summary: The trials of a formerly retired superheroine are destined never to be done, especially when the heroine in question was foolish enough to trade herself for another... Today's entry was sponsored by stormsdotter, who gives the best birthday presents.

( The door that opened in the fabric of reality had no foundation, no wall to hold it in place or justify its existence...Collapse )

Just saying.

groblek and kay_gmd got married today. I mean, not today-today, but today in the past, because the past is a big wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey thing that can contain many anniversaries.

Happy anniversary to two of the best people I know. May you keep on rocking forevermore.

A very happy birthday to Charles Baudelaire, author of The Flowers of Evil, and dude bad-ass enough to have legal action taken to suppress his poetry. He's dead now, but still we honor him in song, story, and excessive amounts of alcohol.

Today's sponsorship brought to you by dormouse_in_tea, the gift that keeps on giving!

Title: Velveteen vs. The Epilogue.
Summary: Now what?

Thank you all so much for reading these. And thanks to Landley, for sponsoring today's final installment in the adventures of a superheroine named Velma Martinez, who did so much more than she ever thought she could.

( The cathedral room of the Crystal Glitter Unicorn Cloud Castle was quiet...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Everyone, Part II.
Summary: The time for patience is over. Now is the time for war. Not everyone is going to walk away, but a point comes when it is no longer safe to care. Today's story was sponsored by Rob and Larissa.

( The fall of Dead Ringer was initially unremarked...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Everyone.
Summary: The time for patience is over. Now is the time for war. Not everyone is going to walk away, but a point comes when it is no longer safe to care. Today's story is sponsored by deakat, for tomorrow (it's tomorrow on the East Coast). HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

( The appearance of the Phantom Doll in the evening sky caught the world's attention in an instant...Collapse )

A few folks are following the new Velveteen stories here, and then going and commenting on the reposted stories on my professional blog, referencing the stories here. If this doesn't stop, I will have to stop posting stories here.

There isn't much separation between my two online worlds. Please respect the thin sliver of separation that exists.

Thank you.

Title: Velveteen vs. Jolly Roger.
Summary: The time for patience is over. Now is the time for war. The first step? Finding allies powerful enough to make the war winnable... Thanks to Rob and Larissa for sponsoring today's story!

( Celia Morgan, Governor of Oregon, shook her head...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen Presents Jackie Frost vs. Four Conversations and a Funeral.
Summary: And now for something completely different. Velveteen’s health is failing. Jackie Frost knows why. But can she take the necessary steps to end it? Today's story was sponsored by Rob and Larissa.

( The surface of the mirror was cold enough that Jackie actually felt it, a short, sharp burst of almost painful chill before she emerged into the warm, peppermint-scented snow of the North Pole...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen vs. Legal.
Summary: When The Super Patriots Inc. finally go too far in their ongoing war against Velveteen and her friends, will she be able to take it lying down? Or will this finally be the straw that breaks the plush camel’s back? Sponsored by Rob and Larissa. Thanks, guys!

( Celia Morgan was accustomed, as Governor of Oregon, to dealing with people whose concept of 'patience' had been left behind somewhere between their homes and her office door...Collapse )

Title: Velveteen Presents Victory Anna vs. The Difficulties With Pan-Dimensional Courtship.
Summary: And now for something completely different, as a young science heroine strives to find True Love despite the many obstacles intended by the world to Thwart her. Thanks to Lola for today's sponsored story!

( After two months of sharing her home, off and on, with the woman who might as well have been the love of her life...Collapse )