Okay, so:

I am working on beating Sparrow Hill Road, aka, "The Further Adventures of Rose Marshall, Deeply Annoyed Hitchhiking Ghost," into book form. It's going pretty well, and I have a solid first draft, but it has been suggested (and not incorrectly) that I omit one of the existing stories. The Halloween one, to be specific, which is sort of derail-y, and doesn't actually feed back into the rest of the narrative.

Trouble is, if I cut this, my word count drops below acceptable levels. So I need a replacement story if I'm going to take this out. What Rose stories have you maybe wanted to see told? The sky's the limit, with the understanding that she can't be the one who defeats Bobby Cross: not in this book. But the whole middle ground, and more than fifty years of road, are open for discussion.

Thoughts?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Outer space isn't really that far away. As astronomer Fred Hoyle used to say, you'd get there in an hour if you could drive a car straight up. I think there's a comparable situation in your own life, Capricorn. You've got an inflated notion of how distant a certain goal is, and that's inhibiting you from getting totally serious about achieving it. I'm not saying that the destination would be a breeze to get to. My point is that it's closer than it seems.

Change is hard, and scary, and plays havoc with my OCD, which results in my losing a lot of work time to the suddenly all-important task of putting all my Monster High dolls on their new metal stands, rather than continuing to progress. This is not good, to put it mildly.

But change is also essential. Change or die. I don't want to die.

I guess that means it's time for a change.

Gulp.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): One of the classics of ancient Sanskrit literature is the Kama Sutra, which gives practical advice about erotic love. The most popular edition of the book offers instructions on eight kinds of kisses and 64 sexual positions, with additional tips on styles of embracing and caressing. This would be an excellent time for you to get inspired by information like that, Capricorn. Your relationship with the amorous arts is due for expansion and refinement. You don't necessarily need to rely on book learning, of course. You could accomplish a lot of empirical exploration simply by getting naked and firing up your imagination.

So...apparently, the universe wants me to get laid. So noted.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): "If there is one door in the castle you have been told not to go through," writes novelist Anne Lamott, "you must. Otherwise, you'll just be rearranging furniture in rooms you've already been in." I think the coming weeks will be your time to slip through that forbidden door, Capricorn. The experiences that await you on the other side may not be everything you have always needed, but I think they are at least everything you need next. Besides, it's not like the taboo against penetrating into the unknown place makes much sense any more. The biggest risk you take by breaking the spell is the possibility of losing a fear you've grown addicted to.

You know what this means, right?

IGNITE THE BIOSPHERE!!!!!!

This was actually inspired by something aiglet said a few weeks ago. Behold the bitter lyrics of bitterness! I...must be in a pretty good mood, that's when I write this stuff.

***

They didn't make you Prom Queen; you lost out to Peggy Sue.
It sometimes seems the whole damn world is riding herd on you,
And they say the dice aren't loaded, but that doesn't match the facts.
Someone's lying. Someone's cheating. Someone's gonna get the axe.

Get passed up for promotion, and they say next time for sure,
And you're packing up your things because you've heard that one before.
They can say the cards aren't counted, but that won't excuse the odds:
Someone's losing. Someone's winning. Someone's cursing at the gods.

        Someone's pocket's getting picked
        And someone's always up a creek
        And someone's always asking why they didn't get the job.
        Someone's always out of luck
        And someone's always getting stuck,
        And no matter how you roll the dice, somebody's getting robbed.

They didn't take your offer, so you're left out in the rain.
Folks say that there's a plan, but what it is, they won't explain.
And they say all votes are counted, that the outcome's in the wind...
Someone's ducking. Someone's dodging. Someone's shut out in the end.

        Someone's pocket's getting picked
        And someone's always up a creek
        And someone's always asking why they didn't get the job.
        Someone's always out of luck
        And someone's always getting stuck,
        And no matter how you roll the dice, somebody's getting robbed.

                Fair is in the eye of the beholder,
                Balance never quite resets the scales.
                We're not all getting wiser, only older.
                Success works best when someone's striving fails...

They didn't let you join them, said you 'were't quite the type.'
The fruit's been left to spoil, nobody realized it was ripe.
And they say we're playing fair this time, but just what should we believe?
Someone's lying. Someone's cheating. Someone's cards are up their sleeve.

        Someone's pocket's getting picked
        And someone's always up a creek
        And someone's always asking why they didn't get the job.
        Someone's always out of luck
        And someone's always getting stuck,
        And no matter how you roll the dice, somebody's getting robbed.

Someone's always out of luck
And someone's always getting fucked,
And no matter how you roll the dice, somebody's getting robbed.

The final ballot for the 2012 Hugo Awards was announced yesterday. I'm on it. Between me-as-me, and me-as-Mira, I'm on it four times, which is actually a record for female authors (several men have managed it, including two people this year; no other woman has managed it, ever). And one of my nominations is for Wicked Girls. After thirty years of trying to get filk recognition at the Hugos, we did it. Because there is a single-artist filk album on the ballot.

I am having all the feelings right now. All the feelings. And yeah, a lot of them are close cousins to terror, which is why I spent most of the weekend either crying or asleep. But even more of them are close cousins to awe and amazement. I am on the ballot. I am on the ballot four times. This is like when I try to soothe myself by going "if you stopped selling books tomorrow, you'd still wind up with ____ many in print, which is better than some people get." Even if I never make the Hugo ballot again, I will still be the girl who got five nominations, four of them in a single year.

(This also means that if I don't win at least one category this year, I will be the girl who lost four times in a single night, and the girl who cries until she runs out of tears. I can be gracious and applaud for the winners, because that is what you do, and then I will go back to my hotel room and cry until there's no more crying in me.)

This is amazing. This is terrifying. This is a real thing which is happening right now.

Thank you. All of you. Thank you.

I am out of words.

The time change is killing me this year. I can't go to sleep, no matter what I do (no caffeine after four, caffeine right before bed, no alcohol, alcohol, no over-stimulation, lots of over-stimulation). I've even tried running laps around the house, which usually scares the cats but knocks me right out. Nothing works. I get in the bed at nine-by-the-clock, and fall asleep at ten-by-my-brain, if I'm lucky. Last night, the stress of "Can I go to sleep in time?" meant that I took an extra hour to go down.

I am so tired. I ache all over. My eyes are burning, and starting to look bruised, thanks to the circles underneath them. I'm giving serious thought to switching to coffee, just to make it through the day without falling asleep in my chair or doing something stupid at work (setting the office kitchen on fire again, for example). And I hate this, because I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not staying up late earning my exhaustion. I'm just going to bed and having my body say "screw you, sleep is for other people."

We're approaching the point where I contact my doctor about insomnia.

This is dumb.

So I am a faithful watcher of America's Next Top Model, largely because it fills the same ecological niche as the SyFy Saturday original movies: it's an excuse to sprawl on the couch drinking cheap port and giggling like an idiot. (Given enough port, you could probably turn off the television without noticeably changing what I was doing. But I would be sad if I realized that had just happened, and you don't want to make me sad when I'm drunk and in my own home. My own home is where I keep the machete closet.) I call it "the skinny pretty girls show," and continue to hold that Natalia was robbed (she came in second).

Last night was the premiere of Cycle 18. This either a) says something sad about us as a society, or b) means that port sales are way, way up. I warned X. that I would be on the couch, drinking and giggling, and snuggled in for the show. Somehow, I had managed to remain blissfully unaware of this season's gimmick. See, there always has to be a gimmick, these days. After seventeen cycles, they're sort of done with the "we take a bunch of girls who haven't eaten a sandwich in eight years, lock them in a house, promise them the moon, don't let them sleep, and see what happens" format they originally clung to. We've had the short cycle, the all-star cycle, and now?

The jingoism cycle.

See, seven of the girls are from the United States. And seven of the girls are from the United Kingdom. And they could not be working harder to make this a country-vs.-country thing if they had painted "slap a girl from the other team, WIN A THOUSAND DOLLARS" on the insides of the cupboards (which hey, maybe they did). They started off by loading the two teams onto floats...at Universal Studios. And telling them to prove national superiority by working up the crowd. Um. You go to most American theme parks and shout "USA! USA!" and you're going to work up the crowd. Since none of the British girls thought to shout "I'VE FRENCH-KISSED HARRY POTTER!", they really didn't stand a chance.

Then they had the photo shoot, pitting "icons" from both the US and UK against each other. So one girl would be Michelle Obama, while the other was Margaret Thatcher. You know. GREAT IDEAS LIKE THAT. When one of the British girls felt she'd done poorly, the others were consoling and reassuring and built her up. While the American girls were little islands of competitive hate. I was just like...what? Do we know how bad this is making us look? The British girls wanted to talk and get to know each other; the American girls wanted to backstab and skinny-dip. And the beat goes on.

This cycle is making me really uncomfortable, and for the first time, I'm considering bailing on ANTM. And that's just sad. But I may stick it out to listen to the Scottish girl, who bemoaned, "I'm so getting subtitled," talk. She's awesome.

Title: Velveteen vs. The Uncomfortable Conversation.
Summary: What happens when a former child superheroine finds herself back in the business, whether she likes it or not? And what happens to her allies? Sponsored by Kathleen Luce!

( It was a beautiful Portland night, which meant that it wasn't raining, although it had been raining an hour earlier, and would probably be raining again in another hour... )

Three years ago today, Deborah and Andy, who are dear, dear, beloved friends of mine, decided that getting married would be awesome.

They were right.

Happy anniversary, Deborah and Andy. May your nights be chilly enough to pull you together, your days be clement enough to give you room to roam, and your stars shine brighter together than they ever did apart.

Title: Velveteen Presents Victory Anna vs. All These Stupid Parallel Worlds.
Summary: And now for something completely different! Join one Science Heroine in her Perilous Quest to find her way to Solid Groud through the power of Science, Steam, and Epona's Own Grace. Sponsored by Sigrid. Thanks, Sigrid!

( Victoria Cogsworth walked down the stairs into her father's underground laboratory, stepping carefully to avoid any untoward puddles of unidentified slime that might be waiting to adhere themselves to her boots. Biology was quite the least appealing of the sciences... )

Title: Christmas Dinner.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: Crime-fighting Victorian Lesbian Silurians With Cute-as-a-Button Swashbuckling Maids (I refuse to let this disqualify mainstream Doctor Who).
Synopsis: How do Jenny and Madame Vastra spend the holidays?

( How do Jenny and Madame Vastra spend the holidays? )

Yesterday's fandom suggested by mrs_norris_mous and sweetmusic_27. To suggest a fandom, pairing, or situation for today, please comment on this post. Only comments on THIS POST will be considered; today's advent will go up tonight.

Title: Ribbit.
Rating: G.
Fandom: Pocket Frogs.
Synopsis: There are no words. Just read.

( There are no words. Just read. )

Yesterday's fandom suggested by vixyish. To suggest a fandom, pairing, or situation for today, please comment on this post. Only comments on THIS POST will be considered.

Title: Gnome for the Holidays.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: Tower Prep.
Synopsis: How are the holidays observed at Tower Prep?

( How are the holidays observed at Tower Prep? )

Yesterday's fandom suggested by dornbeast. To suggest a fandom, pairing, or situation for today, please comment on this post. Only comments on THIS POST will be considered; you have two hours, while I race to catch up.

Title: Stupid Monkey.
Rating: G.
Fandom: The cats.
Synopsis: How are Alice, Thomas, and Lilly planning to take over Christmas?

( How are Alice, Thomas, and Lilly planning to take over Christmas? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by judifilksign. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Today's Advent will be posted this afternoon. I got nothin'.

Title: All Through the Closet.
Rating: G.
Fandom: InCryptid.
Synopsis: What was Christmas like for Alice, in Buckley?

( What was Christmas like for Alice, in Buckley? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by vixyish. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Today's Advent will be posted this afternoon. This time I'm behind because I forgot.

Today is a belated sponsorship HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the lovely Emily Dickinson, who has been dead for quite some time, but remains a major influence on modern poetry. In her own words...

I hide myself within my flower,
That wearing on your breast,
You, unsuspecting, wear me too—
And angels know the rest.

I hide myself within my flower,
That, fading from your vase,
You, unsuspecting, feel for me
Almost a loneliness.

Happy birthday, Emily, wherever you are, and thanks to dormouse_in_tea for this sponsorship!

Title: Proper Christmas.
Rating: G.
Fandom: Halloweentown.
Synopsis: How do they deck the halls in Halloweentown?

( How do they deck the halls in Halloweentown? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by dormouse_in_tea. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Today's Advent will be posted tonight. This time I'm behind because I forgot.

Title: What'cha Doin'?
Rating: G.
Fandom: Phineas and Ferb.
Synopsis: What is does Phineas get Isabella for Christmas?

( What is does Phineas get Isabella for Christmas? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by billroper. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered.

Title: Match Girls.
Rating: R.
Fandom: Sparrow Hill Road.
Synopsis: What is Rose doing for Christmas?

( What is Rose doing for Christmas? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by kyburg. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Due to posting issues, Advent #10 will be going up tonight; this is catchup for yesterday.

Title: Special Delivery.
Rating: G.
Fandom: Care Bears.
Synopsis: Where do Care Bears come from?

( Where do Care Bears come from? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by mnemex. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered.

Title: Circles of Hell.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: October Daye.
Synopsis: What happens when Sylvester drags Toby to the mall?

( What happens when Sylvester drags Toby to the mall? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by ravenclawed. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered.

Title: Diamonds Are Forever.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: X-Men.
Synopsis: What does Scott Summers want for Christmas?

( What does Scott Summers want for Christmas? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by billroper. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered.

The sea is well acquainted with the Golden Ratios,
With the careful division of a nudibranch's tendrils,
A sea urchin's spines, the polyps of coral.
The sea is not a wheel, but a spiral,
Trending ever smaller and ever greater in the same breath,
Fibonacci sequences of tooth and claw, fin and scale.

One prince, falling, met one princess of the sea;
Two paths crossed, and the sequence, repeated ever,
Began again.

It does not always end with sea foam and the knife.

In a small village (you dare not know its name),
Girls with hair like smelted silver count the scales on their ankles,
One, one, two, three, five, eight, thirteen,
And when the spiral turns tightly enough,
They go back to the sea, lungs burning, pushing downward, diving deep.
Some, falling, meet one prince within the sea.
Two paths cross, and and the sequence, repeated ever,
begins again.

It does not always end with bodies on the shore.

And the ratios, upheld, continue on.

(Originally sponsored by browngirl for December 4th. Posting delayed by DDoS attack. Thank you!)

Title: White Christmas.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: Haven.
Synopsis: What is a Haven Christmas like?

( What is a Haven Christmas like? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by geekturnedvamp. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Because the LJ DDoS attack put me a day behind, today's Advent will be posted this afternoon.

Title: The Island of Misfit Toys.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: Criminal Minds, status quo, mid-season four.
Synopsis: What are Reid and Garcia doing on Christmas Eve?

( What are Reid and Garcia doing on Christmas Eve? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by swevene. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for the next advent, please comment here. Only comments left on THIS ENTRY will be considered. Because the LJ DDoS attack put me a day behind, today's Advent will be posted this evening.

Title: It Came Upon A Midnight Mare...
Rating: PG.
Fandom: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. (Does not invalidate the original series as a fandom.)
Synopsis: What other winter celebrations are there in Equestria?

( What other winter celebrations are there in Equestria? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by chipuni and miladygrey. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for tomorrow's advent, please comment here. Only comments left on TODAY'S ENTRY will be considered.

Title: Nature's Way.
Rating: PG.
Fandom: Jurassic Park.
Synopsis: How does nature find a way?

( How does nature find a way? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by textileowl. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for tomorrow's advent, please comment here. Only comments left on TODAY'S ENTRY will be considered.

Two, really.

1. If you don't suggest fandoms, it all stops. Saying "this was lovely" and "thank you" make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and then I feel better about doing this, and that's awesome. But if you do it without suggesting a fandom for tomorrow, we may wind up with a day where there's nothing that I'm willing to write. That really is the point at which I say "thank you for playing, see you next year." Please, please, please, keep suggesting. At the same time...

2. This is not a democracy. Going "I second," "I third," or "yes, this," doesn't increase the chances of something being written, and may, historically speaking, decrease them, as it starts looking like so much noise to me. Suggest new things! Keep the list going!

Remember to suggest for tomorrow on the actual Advent post, not here; any fandom suggestions made here will be cheerfully ignored.

Thank you!

Title: Christmas On the Beach.
Rating: G.
Fandom: Narbonic.
Synopsis: What is Christmas like on Helen's private island? (Spoilers for the end of the comic.)

( What is Christmas like on Helen's private island? )

Today's fandom and characters were suggested by thnidu. To suggest a fandom, pairing/characters, or theme for tomorrow's advent, please comment here. Only comments left on TODAY'S ENTRY will be considered.

The following are fandoms I can/will do for Advent. I've probably forgotten a lot of things, so feel free to suggest things that aren't here; I'll add them if they're applicable. If you're viewing this post sometime in December, I've intentionally omitted anything I've already done. While crossovers are possible, they're incredibly unlikely, as I try to keep Advent stories as short as possible.

To request a story, please comment on the current Advent entry, not this entry. Only questions about the fandoms list will be acknowledged on this entry.

( Click here for the fandom list. )

For every "yes" there must be a little "no." So here's the fandoms I have either zero familiarity with or nothing to say about, and hence won't write, ever:

* 2 Broke Girls
* Babylon 5
* Battlestar Galactica
* CSI
* Dollhouse
* The Event
* Flash Forward
* Grimm
* Lost Girl
* NCIS LA
* Once Upon A Time
* Pushing Daisies
* Sanctuary
* Sarah Conner
* Smallville
* Stargate (any)
* Terra Nova
* Torchwood
* White Collar
* Any literary fandom whose author reads this journal or has explicitly requested fanfic not be written

Again, please don't place requests on this post. This is informational, not consultative.

Whee!

Tomorrow brings us to December, and to the start of my 2011 Fannish Advent Calendar! Because five years isn't enough.

What's that?
An advent calendar counts down the days from December 1st to Christmas in some fashion—my family has a little felt Christmas tree that we hang a little felt ornament on every day. I, having few hobbies, am doing the fannish equivalent, and writing a piece of flashfic every day until Christmas.

Flashfic is essentially short fiction—as little as a paragraph, as much as a page—that isn't constrained by the precise word count that makes a drabble a drabble. Basically, it's a way of staying short and sweet while giving myself a little room to play around.

Oh, neat!
Why, thank you.

What fandom?
Multi-fandom. As long as I know it, it's fine.

Uh...how does that work?
Every day will have a fandom, a title, and a character or pairing. These will be taken from the comments on the previous day. Things need to have a holiday theme; this is, after all, a countdown to Christmas. I will not duplicate fandoms if I can possibly avoid it.

So if I comment first, I can tell you what to write?
Not quite. Whatever is suggested has to interest me, and it has to be in a fandom I know. So there will be no Smallville days. I'll go back over the previous day's comments when I get ready to write the next day's entry, and work from there. I won't go back more than a single day unless a day receives zero comments—that means that you need to comment again if you want me to consider your suggestion for the next day, and so on.

How are you doing the first one?
By looking at any comments I get on this entry, of course. Remember that just because every day will have a fandom, a title, and a character or pairing, this does not a) mean you need to suggest all three, or that b) I will take all three from the same suggestion even if you do.

Can I do this, too?
By all means! Just let me know, so I can wander over and...suggest...things. Heh. Heh. Heh.

Game on!

This is the ballad of notalwaysweak,
Not always quiet, not always meek,
But brave and quite bold in a way quite unique
To the grace and the goodness of notalwaysweak.

This is the ballad of notalwaysweak,
Who sometimes may smile, who sometimes speak,
Who can brighten a day when the world seems bleak,
For there's kindness and caring in notalwaysweak.

This is the ballad of notalwaysweak,
The comfort we find when we bother to seek,
Who can whisper a promise that others would shriek...
Give praise to the presence of notalwaysweak.

Thanks for the sponsorship! Sorry I'm late!

Title: Velveteen vs. The Retroactive Continuity.
Summary: Sometimes the real danger of falling into an alternate timeline isn't the timeline itself. Sometimes it's trying to find your way home... Sponsored by roadnotes. Happy birthday!

( Velveteen levered herself out of the impossibly warm snowbank, eyeing the red-clad figure in front of her with wary suspicion... )

So Merav sponsored today (one! step! closer! to CROCODILES!), and I figured that was a good excuse to talk about meeting Merav.

See, I used to have a very cobbled-together personal website, the kind of thing that was SO COOL in 1996, when being able to do your own basic HTML meant that you were at the cutting edge of casual computing. (Seriously, some people who knew even less about computers than I did assumed I was a hacker, because my website had graphics.) And on that website was a page about my favorite traditional ballad, "Tam Lin." And one day I got a really weird email from some chick in New York, telling me how I was just like her best friend, and we should all have slumber parties and do each others nails and it would be AWESOME.

(She did not actually say that, it just read that way to me.)

Um, says I. You're a little creepy, says I. Backing away slowly now, says I.

A few years later, at OVFF, I met this girl with a long brown braid, a faint accent, and a sense of humor like a calico kitten—soft and fluffy and FILLED WITH CLAWS. She told me she'd written the email. I told her she was less creepy than originally believed. And lasting friendship, along with eventually a musical group and a series of novels, was born.

Thank you for being part of my life, Merav. And thank you for sponsoring today.

Okay, so here's the thing:

Shaenon Garrity, who wrote Narbonic, is having a big-ass party at Borderlands Books to celebrate finally putting out the big two-volume collection of the comic's entire six-year run. It's an epic comic, and it's an epic book, and we're going to have an epic time. I used "epic" three times there, and that's sort of like chanting "Bloody Mary" three times in front of a mirror: means it's gotta come true.

The party will run from five to seven PM on Saturday, November 19th. There will be cupcakes and wine (boxed and bottled), and original art available for purchase. The books are $30 for the set of two, or $17 individually; they'll be available for sale on Saturday, and if you can't be there, you can contact the store to order your very own signed and personalized volumes.

It's going to be a lot of fun. I get to work the merch table, which I love, and Shaenon gets to see her baby go out into the world in an awesome new form. Be there if you can!

(For Amy, who asked me to. Think Rage Against the Machine.)

(whispered) Ignorance is the only true sin.
(spoken) Ignorance is the only true sin.
(SCREAMED) IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN!

You weren't content to break the laws
You weren't content to be the cause
When everything we'd ever built was burning burning burning down
You weren't content to be the ones
You weren't content with what you'd done
And now you won't admit your guilt we'll burn it burn it burn it down

When all we are is dead
The dead will have to rise and tell the truth
When nothing's left unsaid
We'll set aside our frail and fading youth
And burn it down
We'll burn it down...

IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You were you were you were the cause)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You broke you broke you broke the laws)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You think there's nothing left to fear)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (Now we'll ignite the biosphere)

Because science is man's way of saying FUCK YOU to the gods
And we're here to tell you no one ever beats the odds forever
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN—and you'll be sinners to the end.
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN—here's where the burning will begin.

You were our teachers, you were wrong,
You called us weak, said you were strong,
When everything we'd ever made was burning burning burning down
You madmen toiling in the dark
Forgot no man controls the spark
And now's your turn to be betrayed we'll burn it burn it burn it down

When all we are is dead
The dead will have to walk Hell's doors are closed
When nothing's left unsaid
We'll set out on the path our parents chose
And burn it down
We'll burn it down...

IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You were you were you were all wrong)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You are the weak we are the strong)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (You think there's nothing left to fear)
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN (Now we'll ignite the biosphere)

Because science is man's way of saying FUCK YOU to the night
And we're here to tell you no one ever can be right forever
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN—and you are sinners one and all.
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN—stand up and watch the fire fall.

Ignite the biosphere (ignorance is the only true)
Ignite the biosphere (ignorance is the only true)
Ignite the biosphere (ignorance is the only true sin)

IGNITE THE BIOSPHERE!
IGNORANCE IS THE ONLY TRUE SIN!

...and when the fires finally die
When someone comes to ask us why...
Hand off the matches. Shed your skin.
Ignorance is the only true sin.

Lilly—my sweet, silly, psychotic, totally insane Siamese cat—is seven years old today. That's seven years of snuggles, inappropriate licking, demands for attention, claws pinioned into my arms when I try to put her down, blissed-out purr faces, and all the other wonderful, wonderful things that come with living with a Siamese.

When I first met her, she was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, and the dried-up rope of her tail was still attached to her stub, although the damage had been done, and it would fall off within a few more days. Now, she's sixteen pounds of pounce and cuddle, endlessly attracted to boxes and bags, endlessly inclined to burrow, and totally devoted to me.

Lilly is one of the best cats I have ever had, and I love her so much it's practically comic. So happy birthday, Lilly. Here's to the next seven years, and to the seven after that. Because we are nowhere near done with each other.

I would rather dance a tango
With a leech than eat a mango.

You say that fruit will fill me.
Sure it will. Then it will kill me.

Mangos have a pretty skin
To hide the waiting death within.

Allergies are not a joke.
Feed me mango, watch me choke.

I like orange, this is true.
Mangos have a lovely hue...

But their color is a ruse
To make them something I might choose.

Deadly fruit's an allegory
For the way to end a story.

So keep your mangos far away,
That I might live another day...

Today was sponsored by Donna, who has a mango allergy. Sponsorships are still being taken, because I am CLEARLY INSANE. Thanks, Donna!

"But...but why?" asked Mango Lassi, thick, yogurt-y tears rolling down her cheeks. "I thought you liked me! I thought I was fitting in here in Berryland!"

"I'm berry, berry sorry, but the rules are clear," said Strawberry Shortcake, with insincere sorrow in her voice. Behind her, Fig Boot the dinosaur waited with profound purple patience, ready to do his duty by the berry patch. "If you cause anaphylactic shock in children, you just can't be here. It's too dangerous for the rest of us."

"Someone's allergy to everything!" wailed Mango Lassi. "Strawberries! Blueberries! Raspberries! Pineapple! Lemons!" She kept shouting fruits as Huckleberry Pie and Plum Pudding grabbed her by either arm and carried her away into the tangled strawberry plants, with Fig Boot trundling along behind. Soon, the screaming stopped, replaced by horrific crunching sounds.

Shortly afterward, everything was silent.

"It's a berry terrible thing to do to a friend," said Strawberry Shortcake, turning to a white-faced Lemon Meringue, "But we all remember what happened with Peanut Butter Cookie and those lawsuits. I won't be canceled again. I just won't."

The rest of the Berrylanders looked into the burning eyes of their leader, and were afraid.

Thanks to Donna and her mango allergy for sponsoring November 14th!

I have finally, lo these many moons after the fact, finished burning all the way through my store of sponsorships. And because I am a silly blonde, and because this is one of my primary excuses for doing things like writing Velveteen stories, and because I want to look at crocodiles, I am taking sponsorships again.

Sponsorship for what, now?

I'm going to Disney World! And while I'm there, I'd really like to go to the ALLIGATOR KINGDOM and see their famous Nile crocodiles, which are, you know, large and crocodile-y and really want to eat me. I need to save an average of $6.00 per day to pay for this. Since the last time I was trying something nuts, I did sponsorships, I figured it couldn't hurt to try again.

How much are sponsorships?

Minimum $6.00 for a day; if you want to throw more I, and the crocodiles, will thank you.

So I can sponsor a short story?

No, you can sponsor a day. I decided that the first sponsors should get something for their money. Hence "Velveteen vs...", which has been insanely fun to write. Other people have gotten poetry, birthday greetings, or just an enthusiastic "THANK YOU!!!"

What if I don't want to sponsor a day, and I want to sponsor an installment of Velveteen instead?

Bribery. Cookies. Negotiation. Contact me.

How do I sponsor a day?

I can take non-CC PayPal at delirium at xocolatl dot com; all other methods, contact me. Also, please contact me first, as I don't want to double-sponsor any days (and yes, I write them all down as they come in, because again, funny).

Even if I don't make enough to pay for CROCODILES, I'll honor all sponsorships, because that is how my brain works. Basically, I am asking for an excuse to write more superhero madness and bizarre poetry. It's like a holiday gift for everybody!

Excelsior!

Title: Velveteen vs. The Alternate Timeline, Part II.
Summary: Into every superhero's life the occasional alternate timeline must fall. Whether she wants it to or not. Of course, then the question becomes...what if you like this new timeline better?

( Waking was a long, slow process made more difficult by the fact that all Velveteen's muscles felt like they'd been scooped out and replaced with strips of wet cotton... )

A is for Assholes who think you're always wrong;
B is for Bitches who say you don't belong.
C is for Crying—which I do quite a lot when
D is for Dicks who just want what I've got.

E is for Ego, which gets in the way,
F is for Fuck You, which I so long to say.
G is for Gracious, bless their black little hearts,
H is for Headache, which complaining can start.

I is for Ice Cream, which I've been demanding, and
J is for Jerks, who are not understanding.
K is for Kill, which Kate says I can't do.
L is for Liar, telling tales that aren't true.

M is for Murder, again, it's forbidden.
N is for Nasty, which is so often hidden.
O's for Opinion, your right to the ball, but
P's for Polite, which should count most of all.

Q is for Quick, with a tongue or a knife,
R is for Right—we aren't always, in life.
S is for Shaming, which folks often do when
T is for Truths that they wish weren't true.

U is for Upset, both stomachs and hearts,
V is for Victim, which is where it all starts.
W's Wishing that things weren't this way.
X is for X-ing the guest list away.

Y is the question we all end up asking,
Z is for sleep, when the world gets too tasking.
This poem broke down, like the poet, at times;
Some things don't fit well in a format that rhymes.

Title: Velveteen vs. The Alternate Timeline, Part I.
Summary: Into every superhero's life the occasional alternate timeline must fall. Whether she wants it to or not. Of course, then the question becomes...what if you like this new timeline better?

( Velveteen stumbled into her bedroom somewhere between midnight and two o'clock in the morning, muscles aching from a long night of chasing would-be evil-doers over rooftops and through the streets of Portland... )

This is still my fannish journal, inasmuch as I'm allowed to have one. Mentioning it or linking it on my professional journal will eventually cause me to stop posting here at all, which will break my heart a little.

Also, while I appreciate having typos and the like pointed out...this is not where I go for editorial commentary. Please, please don't feel like you need to dissect every little thing. It just kills my urge to write any further little things, and with fannish advent coming up, that's a terrible feeling.

Title: Martinez and Martinez v. Velveteen
Summary: Joining the Junior Super Patriots included a lot of paperwork. Now, years and years later, Velveteen may find that the contracts she signed then still have the power to make her life miserable now...

( Velveteen lounged against the wall of the movie theater, listening with mild disinterest to the screaming, crunching noises coming from inside the lobby... )

The 2011 Pegasus Award Winners are...

Best Filk Song: "Wicked Girls" by Seanan McGuire
Best Classic Filk Song: "The Phoenix" by Julia Ecklar
Best Performer: Amy McNally
Best Writer/Composer: S. J. Tucker
Best Badass Song: "Evil Laugh" by Seanan McGuire
Best Romantic Song: "As I Am" by Heather Dale

I won! Twice! I WON BEST SONG FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME OHMYGREATPUMPKIN!!!!!! And AMY WON BEST PERFORMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is so amazing. This is so incredible. Thank you all, so much, for everything.

I am still stunned.

There's a monster in your closet,
There's a monster in your head.
There's a monster in the shadows
Hiding underneath your bed.

When the shadows come a'crawling,
And the darkness grows too deep,
Remember what I taught you:
Laugh three times and the monsters sleep.

There's a monster at the keyhole,
There's a monster at the lock.
There's a monster on the ferry
And it's coming to the dock.

When the shadows come a'crawling,
And you're scared that you might break,
Remember what I taught you:
Laugh twice more and the monsters wake.

There are monsters who protect us,
There are monsters who stand guard.
There are monsters who can save us
When the going gets too hard.

When the shadows come a'crawling,
And the hope slips through your hands,
Remember what I taught you:
Laugh just once and the monsters stand.

There are monsters you can count on,
There are monsters you can trust.
There are monsters you can turn to
When the rest is ash and dust.

When the shadows come a'crawling,
When you need a place to go,
Remember what I taught you:
Cry and the monsters take you home.

So the fifth October Daye book just came out. One Salt Sea, available now from a bookstore near you. The first mention of this series that I can find in this journal is from July, 2001. That's ten years. And even that post says "this has been going on for a while, this isn't new, this is only new here."

I remember having someone who was one of my closest friends look at me and say, in all sincerity, "I didn't know you were writing a book."

I remember having several people, after I wrote the original short story about a changeling detective having a bad day, hassle me with playground chants of, "Toby wants a novel."

I remember thinking I'd never finish a single one of these books, much less sell them. I'd never be good enough, I'd never be together enough, I'd never have the discipline or skill required to finish a whole novel. And today is the release of my seventh, and my fifth in the series I love more than anything.

It's all very strange.

I know that mostly when I'm over here, in a relatively safe-and-private space (inasmuch as anything is safe or private on the internet), I talk about how tired I am. I'm not exaggerating; I'm exhausted. But I wouldn't trade it for anything. Seriously: not for anything. This is what I've wanted my whole life, and now that I have it, I'm keeping it for as long as I can. And it would take a really big bonfire to erase every copy of my books from the world, and that's amazing, too.

Some of you have been here this whole time. Thank you so much for that. Tired as I am, it still means the world to me.

Cheese and crackers, I'm tired.

It's not just the part where I've been running hard for the last six months, although that's a part of it. It's that my diet has been terrible, because half the time I can't find anything to eat that isn't terrible (you try finding an edible salad in an airport, go ahead, I dare you). It's that all this running and exhaustion and junk food means my weight is up, which makes me even more tired, and also depressed—I worked so hard, I feel like I should be enjoying myself more if I'm going to start slacking off.

It's the part where I have finished two books this year, and feel like I should have finished two more. It's that I barely make it to open filking anymore, because by the time the day ends, my stamina is shot to hell, so I barely see the inside of a circle. And when I'm there, I feel like I should shut up and sit down, because I'm intruding. It's like I've managed to backslide ten years when it comes to having an confidence at all within my chosen community. (Stages and circles have always been two different things for me. Stages, I'm fine. Stages, it's a show. But circles are acceptance and sharing and community and desire, and they terrify me. I was barely getting to where I could bring myself to sing in a circle without being begged. Backsliding sucks.)

It's the part where I haven't drawn a comic strip in months, and didn't even realize I needed new pens until I tried to ink something and discovered that I couldn't. It's the part where I'm so tired that I don't multi-task while I watch TV anymore, I just collapse and stare blankly at the screen, so I still have art cards to finish inking and coloring, and that makes me feel like a failure, and that makes me even more exhausted.

It's the part where I miss my cats.

So yeah, I'm tired. I'm flying to Seattle later this month for a Counting Crows concert, and I bought myself business class tickets (with frequent flyer miles), not for the luxury, but because then I could board the plane first and get another half-hour of sleep while everybody else gets on. I am becoming a power nap queen.

I'm tired.